An unsuspecting fifteen year-old gets hit with college life. Hilarity ensues.

So, I suppose I should introduce myself, in case someone that doesn’t know me actually stumbles upon this, which I don’t imagine happening any time soon. But if this blog ever becomes famous for its biting sarcastic humor, then you should probably read this post first.

At the time of this blog being started, I am in my second semester of college, I’m fifteen, I’m an aspiring graphic artist, and I’m observing my cat make strange noises while licking her rectum.   All of these things are very fun.

First, you probably want to know the whole story about my cat, because she is much more interesting than I am:

She is an eleven year old calico house-cat that just had surgery to remove a hernia that was tangled in her intestines. She has, for the past week or so, been confined to a small and much disused bathroom in the front upper-right corner of my house.  Her stomach has been shaved, and there is a line of nine (I just counted) stitches holding everything together. She does not like these stitches, or the cone that she has to wear to ensure the integrity of them. My family has been taking shifts in this bathroom, concealed in the front upper-right corner of my house, so that she can have some time without having to wear the cone.  Her primary activities while not wearing the cone are listed below:

1. Licking her kitty-bits
2. Licking non-bitty kitty parts
3. Sleeping
4. Licking and biting her stitches, which is bad
5. Staring into space (Current activity)
6. Rubbing her head against the chair in which I am sitting
7. Scratching her scratching post
8. Drinking
9. Hiding behind the decrepit toilet
10. Eating
11. Urinating
12. Defecating
13. Meowing
14. Doing that cute little thing where she licks her paw, wipes her face, licks her paw, and repeats.
15. Escaping my lap
16. Sitting in my lap

As you can probably see, her life right now is not very exciting, and I’m sure she is just waiting for us to let her back into her natural habitat (the front yards of the neighborhood’s inhabitants).

But now, it is time for the “About Me” section. I really don’t like writing this section, because I feel as if I can’t do myself justice.  What I’m going to do instead is have a few good friends write a summary of me in three sentences or less, and I’ll post them here.

“Likes photography a bit too much. Can get carried away with smiley faces. Definitely not a zombie.”

“Creative, funny, and will give any amount of time for his friends.  Very pleasurable to pick on to no end, and still be loyal to anyone. Gee, he’s just like a dog!”

“A huge nerd that enjoys photography, art and always believes in his friends. Has mad Photoshop skills.”

“He’s a nerdy writer/DnD player who can be funny at times. He is the king of sarcasm and the person I call when I need help with my stupid computer. He’s the geek squad!”

“Vegetarian. OCD. Nerd.”

From these, you can gather that I am a total geek, I’m artsy, I play Dungeons & Dragons, and I’m not a zombie. The last one is comforting, at least. But what these don’t entirely tell you is that I also go to college part-time. This, as you can imagine, is a rather large part of my life right now. I’m going for a psychology degree, so I can listen to the problems of other people, and ask them confusing questions. I want to be an artist, really, but I’m not quite special enough to do that. Art will always be a big part of my life, though. And if I have a plethora of other people’s disturbing sub-conscious wishes to pull from, I think I’ll be able to create nicely disturbing impact.

Anyways, I think that’s probably enough about me for now, and I’m sure you’ll be able to get a much more complete sense of who I am in the posts to come.