…See? I just commented on a Facebook status between those two sentences. I’m that awesome.

But no, really. A friend came over today, and we played LittleBigPlanet for about four hours (If you haven’t heard of that game yet, then you have problems, just click that link over there to cure your Sackboy deficiency). While it was maybe a little too long to do just that, it was still pretty fun. Also, I took a Psychology test this morning, so there’s something. Aced it, too (Given, you could take it three times, but still).

I would stop there, but I have a chronic fear of blog posts under 500 words, so I’ll keep going.

…Or not. It’s been twenty minutes since I wrote that last sentence, and I don’t really feel like going any farther. I’ll tell you about that other thing later.

(Also, were you really expecting cookies? Sucker.)

In what the voices in my head are calling the biggest mistake of my life, I left the big, ten-page term paper alone until a week before it was due. Needless to say, I’ve been working on it all day for the last week, and it hasn’t been fun. It’s done, though, and I think it’s okay. Not my usual A, but not too bad. The dialy blog posts should resume, now that the hard bit is over.

College is cakewalk again, ah.

So, as you should know by now, my mother is attending the same tiny community college as I, only she is going to the Court Reporter’s school. Those are the people that sit in courtrooms and transcribe everything that is said (They always make me want to say long strings of gibberish). Mom has just started this semester, so they’re learning how to type on this strange machine in this strange language. Today was her first day of actually taking the paper that her machine spits out and typing it into normal english on a computer. Below is the story that was read out loud to her class, and sequentially processed in Court Reporterly ways.

Also, this is the hilarious part.

A small group of green frogs were walking in the woods one day and two of them fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs stood around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was they told the two frogs that had fallen in that they were as good as dead. The two frogs in the pit did not listen to the other frogs and tried to jump up out of the pit as hard as they could. The other frogs kept telling them to stop trying to jump out. They kept telling them that they were as good as dead. Soon one of the frogs in the pit though about what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and then died. The other frog that was left in the pit kept trying to jump as hard as he could to get out and again the crowd of frogs outside the pit yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and then made it out. When he got out the other frogs said didn’t you hear us? The frog told them he was deaf. He thought the were cheering him.

See how wonderful community college is? I swear we need our own TV show, like that other community college one. We’re just that awesome.

This whole topic came up when I was talking to the Queen of Cakes (you can find her blog here, in a theme that will make you dizzy). Her cake tonight is genuine Louisiana King Cake, which took me all the way back to that very first Mardi Gras party…

-cue that funny rippling video transition and cheesy sound effects-

But first! To go back in time we must go forwards in time! Check back tomorrow!

Okay, okay. This is a lot longer than a day, but I really don’t have time this week. I have the majority of a ten-page paper to write in less than a week. I don’t have time for this. Sorreh.

Now, I do like the cover art, but the amount of this new vampop genre is scary. All I can seem to think is “Wow, how breathtakingly original! This must add some new and fantabulous twist to vampires!”

Also, a point I feel a need to make clear is that I really don’t have many problems with The Twilight Saga. You can point out all of the little parts of it, and say how stupid it is, but writing prose really just comes down to the excitement of the first reading, and I, for one, was enthralled by it.

This is rather shocking to the people who read this blog first, since they are probably the kind of people that despise Twilight (But if you’ll notice, this whole “Vampire Sex” keyword theme might just change that). But it was recommended to me by my best friend (He’s one of those despisers, now) who let me borrow the first book. I read it in a day, then made my mom drive me to the bookstore that same day, so I could buy the other three.  It was good, but it is flawed. And I take it as it is, so you will think I am grown up and serious (College is srs biznis, you know).

I think my main point here is that, while the instigator wasn’t that bad (to me, at least), all this new Vampop teen lit is going to have a very short longevity, and in a few years, vampires and sex and vampire sex is really not going to be the centerpiece. Look at Harry Potter, it’s over a decade old now (I think?) and yet it’s still bringing in hundreds of millions in the box office because it was a relatively original story, and it was very well written. I wonder if in ten years the Saga and knock-off Vampop will still hold the same level of popularity.

I don’t think it will.

Clearly, the next big thing is going to be horny elf-lit, like all the wonderful authors at Wizards of the Coast seem to like so much (Although all of these books seem to be a bit older still. Check out the Elminster series by Ed Greenwood for some pretty good examples of this).

In conclusion, this post sucked. It wasn’t really supposed to be a prizewinner, though. Look at all the awesome Vampire Sex keywords I got in there! Woo Vampire Sex!

Anyways, hope for a more engaging and interesting post tomorrow. Good night, all.

So, after my morning English class, I went over to the student center like I always do, didn’t see anyone I knew (except that one girl I talked to for about ten minutes last week, I think she’s new this semester, but she’s already fallen in with the skater division of the popular crowd, and those aren’t exactly the kind of people I hang out with), an sat down in the Texas room (See? We’re so podunk we have a room named after our state. Ever heard of an Ohio room? I don’t think so. That’s a right reserved especially for the two largest states, Alaska and Texas). I contemplated writing a blog post, since I can’t seem to concentrate enough to study while I’m there, but alas, I didn’t want to.

After three minutes or so, that friendly student activities girl walks in and asks me and that other guy on his laptop if we’re here for a talk with the president. We both look around, then nod noncommittally, since it’s not worth getting up, and saying no and walking off would be awkward.

I swear, we were the only two people there that weren’t either faculty/student activities or in this “Learning Strategies” (Read: People who follow every recommendation of their advisors (who really push for you to take it when you enroll) and those dumb idiots that get a placement score so low that it’s required, neither of which are me) class that walks in (single-file, I don’t think they were holding hands, though) about five minutes before the president shows up.

Anyways, he (the President) walks in two minutes late (I checked), and sits down as soon as he walks in. Now, I don’t know about you, but aren’t these people supposed to be able to introduce themselves? Not this guy, I guess.

So, the friendly student activities girl introduces him, and stands up and walks to the front of the room. This is when I realize that I’m starving, and my stomach is going to wake up that snoring guy in the fourth row if I can’t get some food. There was food, by the way, set up on little platters and everything on the side of the room. Yet, it feels weird to get up and eat as soon as this guy walks in (I’m sure he’s a very nice man, and he lives just up the street from me, but this was just poorly planned, so I’m poking fun at him a little). The friendly student activities girl had said we were free to get up and eat (one sandwich only, please) as soon as they finished bringing in the food, and I see I could’ve/should’ve/would’ve done that before he walked in, but nobody was sure that they were done bringing in the food just yet (It was just a pile of tiny sandwiches and a fruit plate, after all. Doesn’t the president get something a little fancier?). Alas, they were done, and I really should have gotten food then.

But, back to the president. He says his name, and that one year they had started doing this forum with the president, and they had done it ever since. Now, we were all expecting him to talk a little, give us a proper speech before he goes question-answering, but no. Right from the start he wants to answer our questions.

Ha.

Ha ha.

You really expect a class of suck-ups and idiot college students (and us two innocent standbys) to have a plethora of questions for this guy?

No. I didn’t either.

So, Mr. President starts asking us questions, mainly why we decided to come to this podunk college.  The answers were “It’s close.” “It’s cheap.” and, “To become a nurse. (Since we do he a nursing school).”

After the faculty sees that he’s floundering in the dust here, the Learning Strategies asks what he does in his day-to-day work (A question that was halfway interesting). His answer was “I mostly do Public Relations, or as I like to call it, Bringing Information to the Public.”

He tells us that this mostly involves going to fancy dinner parties and Boy Scout club meetings. I don’t know about you, but I imagined that there would be a little more paperwork involved (He did say that he has to go to TXDot meetings about stop-light timing, though). (Also, if you’re wondering about my cat, she’s still trying to rip her stitches out, and her food bowl is empty.) (Not any more. I filled it.)

You would think, since questions seem to be so sparse, that he would try to draw each answer out longer, as to possibly raise more questions, or at least fill the time. But no, he seems to cut the answers rather short, and the awkward silence between questions continues to stretch. There are a few more asked by faculty, ringing of that tone your third-grade teachers had when they asked questions to class guests. Those kind of questions that really make it obvious that the questioner already knows what the answer is.

At this point I’m really really hungry, so I give in to my primal instincts and daintily filled my red paper plate (left over from the Valentines Day event, no doubt) with strawberries and pineapple.  I feel really awkward, because I’m the first person to get food, and the mood doesn’t seem like an “eat” mood, but I’m really hungry, if you have yet to notice. There were a few more questions that I didn’t listen to as I wolfed down my cantaloupe, and then I got to feel even more awkward as I had to walk out for my ride home.

Oh well, sometimes things just suck. At least Mr. President has that dinner tomorrow night to cheer him up.

Jesus, I really can get writing if I want to, can’t I? It’s one of those things where I have to tell a story in its entirety, I suppose.

Please excuse my for any typos, I’m usually impeccable, but I don’t feel like re-reading that, ’cause my kitty-watching shift is over.

Good night, all.

Oh well, a preview at least, so I don’t forget it all.

After getting up painfully early in the morning, like I have to do every weekday, I walked groggily into the kitchen, and ate my traditional bowl of dry Wheaties (See? Hilarious!).

Well, this isn’t really going in the right direction…

Let’s try again.

After getting up painfully early, I ended up getting to the school thirty minutes early, since my Mom is my ride, and she goes there as well, but only thirty minutes earlier than I do. I waited around, pulled out the trusty netbook (The Eee PC 1005HA, just in case you were wondering), caught back up in Castle Age, and recruited a few more people to write three-sentence summaries of me. This was all, of course, terribly exciting.

So there I was, sitting in the hall while surfing the ‘nets and such, when all of a sudden this guy walks by carrying a box of tissues. A whole damn box of Puffs. Now, don’t get me wrong, tissues are essential if you’re sick like I was last weekend, but seriously? A Whole box? I guess that’s what seems the most logical when you have thirty seconds to get out the door and to class, but it seems like taking a bunch of tissues and putting them in your pocket is better than taking the (whole, damn) bedside box of Puffs.

But the real fun began when my legally-deaf Psychology professor walked in and announced that she had forgotten her hearing-aids (Which I also wear, by the way) in her car. After that, she asked us if we did the homework assignment that she had asked us to. Most of us (myself included), said yes. Her response was “I can’t hear you.”

After a few more equally awkward situations, she told us to extrapolate the traits for commercial stereotypes on the board while she retrieved her hearing-aids.

Now, we skip ahead to that awkward hour after I get out of class and have to wait before Mom does.

I’m sitting in my usual seat in the student center, once again surfing the ‘nets, when one of the SGA people walks in with a stereo and tried to plug it into the TV. These SGA people, you can just tell them from the rest. They’re always the ones moving the tables about for that night’s event, or testing out some new thing the school has. So, there are two people over there trying to plug a stereo in to the TV for external sound. I was just about to walk over there and offer assistance, because I’m usually good that this stuff, when another guy walks over and plugs in in correctly. As soon as he does this, though, loud hip-hop music starts playing. Most people would turn it off, because it’s unnecessary,  but here, this whole group of people starts dancing to it.

They do turn it off after a minute or so, but I still think it’s funny that the first reaction is dancing,  not quiet (I don’t dance, if you can tell).

Right after this, one of the few people I talk to on a regular basis runs up, asks me if I have my camera (he knows about my whole photo-obsession thing), I say no, and he runs off without any explanation. About five minutes later, he comes back and tells me there’s cake. I, being quite enthused by this cake, follow him back to the source of all these cake rumors. The source just happens to be a cake that says, in hot pink lettering, “Scone is Ghey!”

Scone happens to be the nickname of the anime club’s president, and he is not gay.

The cake was good, at least, but there were no plates. I used my Psychology notebook as a plate instead. It worked pretty well.

After all that, and some hasty planning for the night’s Dungeons & Dragons session, I went back up to the school for the Anime Club’s meeting. This was the first time I had gone, and I wasn’t going because of any particular love for anime. It was to meet this group of people, who seem to hang out pretty much everywhere and do geek stuff. I like geek stuff, and think that these people are going to be my best be for any sort of friends at this college. Hardly any of the “anime-club people” showed up, though. It was about eight people, and all we did was talk about their upcoming trip to a local convention. At first, I was a little jealous, because a fifteen year-old doesn’t really go spend a weekend in a hotel room with ten other college students. But I quickly realized that all the rumors are true, about what happens at a con stays at a con. Also, I don’t care enough about anime to really go to another con and spend all of my imaginary money on crazy stuff, most of which would be immediately thrown out by my mother upon return.

We didn’t get around to watching anime after all, because, after an hour and a half of argument about Scone’s accounting practices, everyone was fed up, and decided to leave.

Damn, this is why my book never got chosen at book club. We were supposed to “preview” the book, not give a blow-by-blow account of it. After my book, everybody felt like they had just read it, not heard my talk about it. I suppose this was a little more deliberate, since a thousand words doesn’t just write itself in a matter of minutes, but same concept.

Also, I just told you the whole story, so don’t expect me to “finish” it tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring new and not nearly eventful things. At least I don’t have class, so there’s no reason to get up as painfully early.

Good night, all.

At the time of this blog being started, I am in my second semester of college, I’m fifteen, I’m an aspiring graphic artist, and I’m observing my cat make strange noises while licking her rectum.   All of these things are very fun.

First, you probably want to know the whole story about my cat, because she is much more interesting than I am:

She is an eleven year old calico house-cat that just had surgery to remove a hernia that was tangled in her intestines. She has, for the past week or so, been confined to a small and much disused bathroom in the front upper-right corner of my house.  Her stomach has been shaved, and there is a line of nine (I just counted) stitches holding everything together. She does not like these stitches, or the cone that she has to wear to ensure the integrity of them. My family has been taking shifts in this bathroom, concealed in the front upper-right corner of my house, so that she can have some time without having to wear the cone.  Her primary activities while not wearing the cone are listed below:

1. Licking her kitty-bits
2. Licking non-bitty kitty parts
3. Sleeping
4. Licking and biting her stitches, which is bad
5. Staring into space (Current activity)
6. Rubbing her head against the chair in which I am sitting
7. Scratching her scratching post
8. Drinking
9. Hiding behind the decrepit toilet
10. Eating
11. Urinating
12. Defecating
13. Meowing
14. Doing that cute little thing where she licks her paw, wipes her face, licks her paw, and repeats.
15. Escaping my lap
16. Sitting in my lap

As you can probably see, her life right now is not very exciting, and I’m sure she is just waiting for us to let her back into her natural habitat (the front yards of the neighborhood’s inhabitants).

But now, it is time for the “About Me” section. I really don’t like writing this section, because I feel as if I can’t do myself justice.  What I’m going to do instead is have a few good friends write a summary of me in three sentences or less, and I’ll post them here.

“Likes photography a bit too much. Can get carried away with smiley faces. Definitely not a zombie.”

“Creative, funny, and will give any amount of time for his friends.  Very pleasurable to pick on to no end, and still be loyal to anyone. Gee, he’s just like a dog!”

“A huge nerd that enjoys photography, art and always believes in his friends. Has mad Photoshop skills.”

“He’s a nerdy writer/DnD player who can be funny at times. He is the king of sarcasm and the person I call when I need help with my stupid computer. He’s the geek squad!”

“Vegetarian. OCD. Nerd.”

From these, you can gather that I am a total geek, I’m artsy, I play Dungeons & Dragons, and I’m not a zombie. The last one is comforting, at least. But what these don’t entirely tell you is that I also go to college part-time. This, as you can imagine, is a rather large part of my life right now. I’m going for a psychology degree, so I can listen to the problems of other people, and ask them confusing questions. I want to be an artist, really, but I’m not quite special enough to do that. Art will always be a big part of my life, though. And if I have a plethora of other people’s disturbing sub-conscious wishes to pull from, I think I’ll be able to create nicely disturbing impact.

Anyways, I think that’s probably enough about me for now, and I’m sure you’ll be able to get a much more complete sense of who I am in the posts to come.